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Letting Go of Your Pain
Releasing pain is like setting down a burden you've carried for too long. With each step forward, you rediscover your strength, unshackled, lighter, ready to embrace what’s ahead.
Pain comes in many forms and links back to the wounds that we carry. It can be emotional or physical, and often feels like something we must endure, as though carrying it is a form of strength. But true strength lies in letting go of it. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened—it means acknowledging it, learning from it, and choosing not to let it define your present or future.
Imagine pain as a heavy rock you've been carrying. At first, it feels necessary, familiar, even protective. We have been taught to carry this burden all too well. But over time, it weighs you down, making each step harder. Choosing to set it down is not a denial of its existence but a recognition that you don’t have to bear its full weight forever.
This process of release can be gradual. Sometimes, it starts with a quiet decision—to stop revisiting old wounds, to challenge the belief that suffering is required for growth, to replace sorrow with understanding. Healing is not linear, but each moment of release brings clarity and renewal. There may be times that you revisit this but you don't linger in it having learnt to be resilient.
Letting go of pain is a deeply transformative process that brings emotional relief and renewal. Here is how it helps:
Emotional Lightness – Carrying emotional pain can feel like dragging a weight through life, a rock on your shoulders. Releasing it brings a sense of freedom, making room for peace and contentment.
Clarity and Perspective – When pain lingers, it can cloud judgment and distort reality. Letting go allows you to see situations more objectively, leading to wiser decisions and healthier, deeper relationships.
Self-Compassion and Growth – Forgiveness—whether of yourself or others-fosters kindness and self-acceptance. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it is so they no longer have control over you, you are taking your power back. It helps you recognize your own resilience and move forward with confidence.
Restoration of Joy – Pain can dull life’s vibrant moments. When you loosen your grip on the hurt, joy has space to re-enter in different ways-through laughter, creativity, and meaningful connections.
Inner Strength – The ability to let go is a testament to personal strength. It signifies courage, bravery and-the choice to move beyond suffering and embrace healing. This choice is yours-own it and take your power back!
It’s not about forgetting or invalidating what happened to you. It’s about reclaiming your own well-being and deciding that pain will not define you and your future.
Reframing Suicide: A Compassionate Psychological Perspective
Describing suicide as “selfish” is a common but deeply problematic and oversimplified perspective. From a psychological point of view, suicide is rarely an act of selfishness—instead, it is more often the result of intense psychological pain, distorted cognitive processing, and a perceived absence of alternatives. As hard as this view is, from a Psychological perspective we need to view this with a compassionate understanding.
Here are a few key points to understand this better:
Cognitive Distortions and Psychological Risk Factors
People experiencing suicidal ideation often suffer from cognitive distortions, such as:
Black-and-white thinking (“Nothing will ever get better.”)
A sense of hopelessness (“There is no point in continuing.”)
Perceived burdensomeness (“Everyone would be better off without me.”)
These distortions, twhich have been found in psychological autopsy studies, are symptomatic of conditions like major depressive disorder, PTSD, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder—they cloud perception and decision-making. Also, a history of self-harm increases sucide risk
Psychache (Psychological Pain) and Suicide as Escape
Suicide is often an attempt to escape unbearable psychological pain, a concept coined by psychologist Edwin Shneidman. The individual isn’t trying to hurt others; they are trying to stop their own suffering, which feels inescapable. Studies show that chronic emotional distress and feelings of entrapment are major contributors to suicidal behavior.
Impaired Functioning and Decision-making
Mental illness often leads to impaired emotional regulation, problem-solving abilities, and impulse control. These impairments make it extremely difficult for someone to consider other options or reach out for help. Research findings from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) suggests that individuals at risk for suicide often experience neurological changes affecting both decision-making and emotional processing.
Isolation and Social Disconnection
People at risk for suicide frequently feel isolated, disconnected, and misunderstood. Their social support may be minimal or feel inaccessible, reinforcing the sense that they have no place in the world.
Myth of Selfishness and Stigma
Labeling suicide as “selfish” is harmful as it:
Invalidates the real suffering the person is experiencing.
Contributes to stigma, which discourages help-seeking.
Shifts blame rather than fostering empathy and support.
From a therapeutic perspective, it’s more compassionate and effective to view suicidal behavior as a maladaptive coping mechanism—not a moral failing.
In Summary:
Rather than selfishness, suicide is usually an act driven by desperation, mental illness, and a collapse of coping resources. Psychological interventions aim to address the underlying distress and help individuals reconnect with meaning, support, and hope. Compassionate Aproach needs to be applied.
Finding the right therapist and much more....
Just wrapped a fantastic conversation with Eitan Engelberg. We dive deep into mental health and the stigma around therapy.
The conversation took some fascinating turns, especially when we explored: "How finding the right therapist is like dating, ensuring the perfect fit for personal growth."
Can't wait for you to hear the full episode, coming soon!
Mental Wellness in 2025: A New Era Of Awareness, But Are we Thriving?
In 2025, conversations about mental health are more visible and normalized than ever before. From viral TikToks on self-care to celebrities opening up about therapy, the stigma surrounding mental wellness is slowly cracking. But beneath the hashtags and hotlines, a deeper question lingers: Are we truly well—or just surviving with better language to describe our stress?
Modern life is a paradox. We’re more connected, yet lonelier than ever. We’re more informed, yet overwhelmed. Technology promised convenience, but it also brought constant notifications, blurred work-life boundaries, and the pressure to always be on.
The result? Rising rates of anxiety, burnout, and disconnection.
According to recent data, global mental health disorders have continued to increase, especially among the Gen Z and Millennials. Social comparisons on curated feeds, climate anxiety, financial pressure, and political instability weigh heavily on the collective psyche.
The Wellness Industry: Help or Hype?
The booming wellness industry has responded with a flood of products—apps, supplements, meditations, digital detox challenges and let's not forget about the new generation of AI. While many are genuinely helpful, some offer a band-aid for deeper issues. True mental wellness requires more than lavender candles and inspirational quotes. It demands systemic change, trauma-informed care, and safe spaces for vulnerability.
Therapy and Telehealth: A Bright Spot
One of the most promising shifts has been the rise of accessible therapy through telehealth. Virtual counseling has broken geographical and logistical barriers, allowing more people to access professional support. Therapists are also integrating culturally-sensitive and trauma-informed approaches, recognizing that healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. Each client deserves focused attention and care!
Community Is Medicine
More people are rediscovering that mental health isn’t just an individual pursuit—it’s relational. We heal in safe, authentic connections. Whether through group therapy, community events, or honest conversations with loved ones, belonging is a powerful antidote to isolation and the normalization of feelings.
What Does Wellness Really Mean Today?
Mental wellness today is not about having a perfect morning routine or being unshakably positive. It’s about:
Resilience, not toxic positivity
Rest, not hustle
Boundaries, not avoidance
Self-compassion, not perfection
Seeking help, not shame
In this new era, being mentally well means recognizing our needs, unlearning harmful patterns, and giving ourselves permission to slow down and not to be ok at times but to never get give up.
Where Do We Go From Here?
As we move forward, the call is clear: let’s prioritize real conversations, push for accessible mental health care, and stop glorifying burnout. It’s okay not to be okay—but we deserve support that helps us move toward being truly well.
Let’s not settle for survival. Let’s fight for flourishing—together.
Key Takeaways:
1. Awareness is up—but true wellness still lags.
Mental health is more openly discussed, but many are still just surviving rather than thriving.
2. Modern life fuels disconnection.
Constant connectivity, social comparison, and burnout are leaving people anxious and isolated.
3. The wellness industry offers quick fixes—not deep healing.
Real wellness goes beyond products; it requires trauma-informed care and systemic change.
4. Telehealth is transforming access to therapy.
Virtual counseling is breaking barriers and fostering more inclusive, personalized care.
5. Community and connection are essential to healing.
Belonging and authentic relationships are powerful antidotes to mental health struggles.
Understanding the Real Struggles of Teenagers Today
Growing up in today's world is tough. Teenagers are dealing with a lot, from managing their mental health to keeping up with school, navigating social media, and figuring out who they are. It’s a time of big changes and intense pressures, and it's easy for their struggles to be overlooked
I am doing a research project about understanding what teenagers are really going through. By looking closely at the challenges they face, like anxiety, feeling pressured by friends, and the impact of technology, the goal is to offer real support
Why This Matters
The teenage years are a crucial time, shaping the adults they'll become.But with constant comparisons on social media, worries about the environment, and struggles with identity, today's teens face more stress than ever before.This research wants to find out where teens need the most help and come up with ways to help them cope and build resilience.
How to Get Involved
Teenagers have the chance to share their experiences and get a better understanding of their own challenges. By participating in a research assessment, you receive a personalised report that highlights their responses and offers valuable insights
Click on the link below to access your free assessment.
The assessment and personalised report is 100% free for the first 100 participants. There's also an option to discuss the results in a one-hour online personal session. (Which will be $197 USD including a Youth Emotional Intelligence Assessment). https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd1YbOkUsCI8FfMxun18fPBZNPZ7Q03aTrKhN-91CaMNmYDLg/viewform?usp=header
In Conclusion
It's vital to listen to what teenagers have to say and truly understand what they're experiencing. This research aims to shine a light on these challenges and find solutions that empower young people to face the world with confidence and support This is an opportunity to be part of something meaningful and contribute to a more supportive future for the next generation.
Key Takeaways:
1. Teens face unprecedented pressures.
From mental health challenges to social media stress, teens today are navigating complex, high-pressure environments.
2. This research gives teens a voice.
The project explores real struggles like anxiety, identity issues, peer pressure, and digital overwhelm—directly from the teens themselves.
3. Insight leads to action.
Personalized assessments help teens understand their emotional needs and offer practical strategies for resilience.
4. Early support shapes stronger futures.
Understanding and supporting teens now is key to helping them grow into healthy, confident adults.
#yesicanresillience #teenagers #mentalwellness #selfharming
#suicideawarewness
Retrenchment and your mental state
In a world that champions resilience and agility, the experience of retrenchment often feels like a harsh contradiction. It challenges your professional identity and can make carefully laid plans seem to evaporate. For many, it’s not just about losing a job; it’s about losing a piece of themselves.
Retrenchment stirs complex emotions: shock, anger, grief, and self-doubt. It’s a natural response to an unnatural event. After all, we pour so much of ourselves into our work—our skills, our time, our dreams. To be told our contribution is no longer needed can feel untethering.
But you are not alone. In today’s economic climate, retrenchment is a shared experience, and each story is a testament to human resilience. Many eventually realize that this chapter, however painful, does not define their worth. One former colleague called it a “rebirth”—a chance to reflect, recalibrate, and redirect their career. Another pursued a long-sidelined passion.
If you’re navigating this transition, consider these steps:
Allow Yourself to Feel: Grief isn’t linear. Feel angry, sad, or confused. Processing emotions through journaling, talking to friends, or seeking professional counseling helps.
Reframe the Narrative: Losing a job reflects economic shifts, not personal failure. It’s a circumstance, not a judgment of your value.
Reconnect with Your Purpose: Take stock of your skills, passions, and the impact you want to make. Use this time to realign with what fulfills you.
Lean on Your Community: Reach out for job leads, encouragement, and solidarity. Share your story so others can support you.
Invest in Yourself: Upskill, attend industry events, or take a course that excites you. These steps can open unexpected doors.
Celebrate Small Wins: Each application sent, conversation had, and moment of self-care is progress.
To those retrenched: you are more than your job title! You are your experiences, resilience, and unique perspective. This chapter will end, making way for something new.
To those who know someone retrenched, offer grace and understanding. Simply saying, “I see you, and I’m here for you,” can be profoundly impactful.
Let’s normalize discussing the mental and emotional toll of retrenchment. Through these conversations, we build a culture of empathy and support, ensuring no one navigates this journey alone.
Key Takeaways:
1. Retrenchment is deeply personal, not just professional.
It can impact identity, confidence, and emotional wellbeing—but it does not define your worth.
2. Emotions are valid and necessary.
Feelings of grief, anger, or confusion are normal. Processing them is part of healing.
3. This can be a turning point, not an end.
Many find renewed purpose, pursue passions, or discover new paths after retrenchment.
4. Connection is key.
Lean on your community for support, and remember you’re not alone in this experience.
5. Invest in growth.
Use the time to upskill, reflect, and celebrate small steps forward—it all matters.
The Masks We Wear
Mental health is not only a hot topic but also an imperative aspect of our well-being. From a young age, we are taught to be brave and strong, often leading us to conceal our true emotions behind a facade—a mask. This metaphorical mask allows us to present a composed exterior to the world, even when we may be struggling internally. While this coping mechanism can help us navigate challenging situations, it can also hinder our ability to seek the help we need.
The societal expectation to maintain an appearance of strength can discourage individuals from expressing vulnerability or acknowledging their mental health struggles. This reluctance often stems from a fear of judgment or rejection, perpetuating a cycle of silence and isolation. As a result, many people continue to suffer in silence, their true feelings obscured by the mask they wear.
In the past week, I have encountered three tragic cases of suicidal ideation, affecting individuals of different ages and races. These heartbreaking incidents underscore a pervasive issue: while we often continue with our daily routines, few people take the time to genuinely ask others how they are "really" doing. The façade of normalcy often masks underlying struggles, making it crucial for each of us to play an active role in supporting one another's mental well-being.
Breaking this cycle requires a cultural shift towards greater acceptance and understanding of mental health issues. By normalizing open conversations about mental health and encouraging genuine emotional expression, we can begin to dismantle the stigma that surrounds these topics. It is essential to recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that everyone deserves support in their mental health journey.
Ultimately, the masks we wear serve as both a shield and a barrier. While they may protect us in certain situations, they can also prevent us from fully engaging with our emotions and seeking the help we need. By fostering a culture of openness and support, we can encourage individuals to remove their masks and embrace their authentic selves, leading to a healthier and more compassionate society.
Simon Sinek eloquently emphasizes the power of reaching out with a simple yet profound gesture: asking a friend if they have eight minutes to talk. This approach is powerful because it offers a specific, manageable time frame that can facilitate meaningful connection without overwhelming either party.
Integrating this practice into our daily lives, both professionally and personally, can have a transformative impact. It creates a safe space for authentic conversations, allowing individuals to express their true feelings without fear of judgment. Such exchanges can provide much-needed relief and validation, reminding people that they are not alone in their struggles.
The act of genuinely checking in with others should not be underestimated. It is a small, intentional gesture that can make a significant difference, potentially saving lives. By committing to this practice within our circles, we contribute to a culture of care and compassion, where mental health is prioritized, and individuals feel supported.
In conclusion, the recent tragedies remind us of the critical importance of mental health awareness and the need for genuine human connection. Let us all make a conscious effort to reach out, ask how others are "really" doing, and be that trusted confidant for someone else. Together, we can foster a more understanding and supportive community. Be part of the change!
#ifyouneedhelpreachout #mentalhealth
An old interview I stumbled across on parenting and creating safe environments for children. Times have changed…
https://www.chaifm.com/podcast/2020-01-20-jody-eiser-therapy-and-coaching/
